thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
