I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
