she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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