If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
