can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
