I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
