I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
