why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize