hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
