I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting