The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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