best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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