I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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