dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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