It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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