i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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