he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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