She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
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Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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