the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
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I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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