Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
