Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize