He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
