When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize