I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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