I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
