i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
