The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
