There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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