I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i barfeds in our rink
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
