He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
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You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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