$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
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she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
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No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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