I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
