So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
