That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
are you so shy because you have an std?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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