I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
