I saw his package. It spoke to me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
