everyone is single if you try hard enough
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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