fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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