I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
