Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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