I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
