yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He passed out mid-signature
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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