I'm jealous of your bromance
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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