I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
