are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
