So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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