I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize