I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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