Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize