Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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