I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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