OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
