if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize