I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
