I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize