Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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