too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
